


It Means Nothing

by NARWHALTALE



Series: The Saiouma Childhood Friend Chronicles [4]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Childhood Friends, Especially Shuichi, Fake/Pretend Relationship (Kiibo and Kokichi), Friends to Lovers, Jealous Shuichi, Jealousy, Kokichi questions things, M/M, Mainly Shuichi's POV, Mutual Pining, Not beta-read, Oumoron, Pining, Shuichi dreams, Shuichi is dense, Sumb, They're sad :(, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28164684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NARWHALTALE/pseuds/NARWHALTALE
Summary: Kokichi convinces Kiibo to get into a fake relationship with him. It'll work both ways! Kokichi gets Shuichi jealous and Kiibo gets Miu jealous! It's foolproof!Shuichi certainly takes the bait, at least.Shuichi is not happy about Kokichi being in a relationship.It isn't fair. It's never fair.
Relationships: Iruma Miu/K1-B0 (minor), K1-B0 & Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi & Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: The Saiouma Childhood Friend Chronicles [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034895
Comments: 4
Kudos: 174





	1. I don't want to wake up!

**Author's Note:**

> Pining Shuichi is my religion, I'm just feeding the flames, mate.

“Wh-what…?”

“Look, I know it sounds weird!” Kokichi added. “But I’ll explain it again, you pretend to date me so that  _ you’ll _ make Iruma jealous, and  _ I’ll _ make Shuichi jealous! It’s foolproof! Or is it too hard for a robot like you to understand?”

Kiibo ignored the comment and seemingly thought it over. 

“Okay… Yeah, let’s do it!” He decided. 

“Yay! Nishishi, let’s go to Shumai first,  _ beloved.” _ He mocked. Kiibo just rolled his eyes as Kokichi snatched his hand and started dragging Kiibo along with him. 

“W-We don’t have to…  _ kiss,  _ or anything, do we?” Kiibo asked quietly. Kokichi snorted.

“No, I wanna save that for Shu. If this works, I mean. We just have to call each other dumb pet names and be all love-y dovey ‘til it works!” Kokichi grinned. Kiibo nodded to himself, seemingly more assured now. 

They approached the library, where Shuichi, as Kokichi predicted, was reading the new book Kokichi had gotten him. It was a collection of all of the Sherlock Holmes stories in one book so that Shuichi wouldn’t have to go looking for them all over the internet. Kokichi wouldn’t soon forget the sugar-sweet grin, the pure excitement in his eyes, or the light giggle that came from Shuichi upon being given the book. 

“Shuichi! Guess what!” Kokichi exclaimed casually. Shuichi peered up from his book - rather cutely, Kokichi would add - and looked at him and Kiibo’s interlocked hands curiously. 

“What is it?” Shuichi asked calmly. 

“Welllll, I got a boyfriend! I’m not gonna die alone! I know, I know, I can’t believe it either.” He snickered easily. 

Shuichi, contrary to how Kokichi thought he would react, smiled brightly. “That’s great, Kokichi! Seriously, I’m really happy for you!”

Kokichi held back a frown, instead smiling wider. “Welllll… I suppose my darling and I must get going, right, Kiibo?”

Kiibo flushed and nodded. He was a good actor, Kokichi noted. Though he may have had the ability to make himself flush. He’d ask about it later. 

“Ah, um, have fun...Use protection…!” Shuichi smiled, though his hands trembled. Kokichi didn’t notice. 

Kiibo grew flustered and sputtered. “Wh-What!? No, nonono, you misunderstand! We aren’t - “ 

“How scandalous of you, Shuichi!” Kokichi snickered. “But no! We will go have very passionate - “

“Kokichi!” Kiibo cut him off. “How about we go see Miu now.” Kokichi rolled his eyes playfully and nodded. 

“Okayyyyy. Later, Shuichi!” Kokichi sprinted off, dragging Kiibo behind him. 

“It didn’t work!” He whined as they walked away from the library. Kiibo sighed. 

“Perhaps he just needs more time. Saihara-kun does not seem like the type to immediately get angry. He may not even realize it yet.” 

Kokichi paused. 

“...what if he doesn’t even...like me that way? What if he just sees me as a friend and I’m being stupid…?” Kokichi questioned. 

Kiibo looked at him. “I’m sure that that is not the case. You may not see it now, but I am positive he has feelings for you!” Kiibo smiled. 

Kokichi shrugged and tried to bounce back. “Annnywayyyy! Let’s go tell the slut, nishishi!” Kiibo sighed and merely followed the now running trickster. 

***

A couple hours later, Shuichi was laying on the bottom bunk and staring up, his mind running in all directions. 

He had a headache.

Kokichi was softly humming one of those musical songs Shuichi had seen him blasting through his earbuds numerous times, and that was able to bring him a tiny bit of comfort. At least one thing hadn’t changed.

_ One thing… _

He shook his head. It didn’t mean anything, nothing at all. His best friend, someone he was closer to than even his own parents, had gotten a boyfriend. That didn’t change anything. Kokichi was still dorming with him, he was still the same person, he was still Shuichi’s best friend. Nothing changed!

Right?

Shuichi let out a breath through his nose and tried to forget about the way Kokichi had leaned on Kiibo, had sat next to Kiibo instead of Shuichi, had blown Kiibo kisses, called Kiibo his beloved, looked at Kiibo with that look usually reserved for Shuichi. 

_ It meant nothing. _

Shuichi inhaled and exhaled again calmly, blocking out the thought of Kokichi wrapping his arms around Kiibo, leaning into Kiibo the same way he used to do with Shuichi, doing that weird snort horse laugh at Kiibo’s jokes, booping Kiibo on the nose before he went home, climbing onto Kiibo’s shoulders and snickering as he shouts for Kiibo to ‘go onwards, my noble steed!’, getting so close to Kiibo their noses were touching and breathing gently against Kiibo’s lips, kissing Kiibo gently and tasting like the Grape Panta he constantly chugged -

Shuichi bit his bottom lip and cracked his knuckles, a habit that  _ he _ ,  _ Kokichi _ , was always trying to break him of. He didn’t care. He couldn’t care less as to what Kokichi did with his boyfriend. It wasn’t his business. 

He rolled onto his side, forcing away the thought of Kokichi holding Kiibo’s hand as he skipped away. 

He flipped onto his back,  _ not _ thinking about Kokichi’s glittery smile directed at Kiibo.

He adjusted his pillow, wondering anything other than what it would feel like to be able to have Kokichi lean into him like he did with Kiibo. 

He pulled the blanket up higher,  _ not _ wishing Kokichi would look at him the way he looked at Kiibo. 

“What the fuck are you doing down there, Chi!? Jesus, do that shit in the bathroom, dude.” 

Shuichi’s face burst into flames. 

“I-I-I-I’m not d-doing anything l-like that!” He spluttered. “I-I-I was just t-trying to get comfortable!”

Then came that one laugh. 

“Are you sureeeee? You were moving a lot down there.” 

Kokichi’s smirking face swung down the bunk, and then Shuichi was looking directly at...him…

“Hm… I suppose I’ll believe you and therefore spare your life for now… Of course, only the best for my second in command!”

Shuichi just hummed and laid down. 

“Shuichi doesn’t think he’s my second in command?” Kokichi inhaled sharply, and Shuichi shot up, almost bashing his head against the top of the bunk. 

“Kokichi Ouma, if you start fake crying you’re going to wake up entire dorm flat and  _ I’ll _ be forced to deal with them again.”

“So?” Kokichi’s face flashed back to a smug expression.

“So, if you do that, I’ll hide your entire Panta stash.” Shuichi glared. 

Kokichi’s grin fell. “Fineeee! Ugh, Shumai, you’re so boring sometimes!”

“That’s a lie,” Shuichi half-smiled fondly. 

Kokichi stuck his tongue out and giggled that sugar-sweet giggle again and Shuichi wanted so desperately for that giggle to be directed at  _ him all the time and just him and not Kiibo - _

“You good? You were spacing out, Chi.” 

“I-I’m fine, Ki.” said the detective. 

“Welp, I think you’re too tired for this, Chi. Bedtime.” Kokichi smiled softly and dragged his head back up.

**_Shuichi couldn’t help but notice the lack of the addition of calling him ‘beloved’ or ‘dearest’._ **

Shuichi let his head fall onto his pillow and shut his eyes. 

_ It doesn’t matter, Shuichi. You know that it doesn’t. _

He lied to himself.

…

. . .

Kokichi smiled at Shuichi. Softly, softly, he entwined the two’s fingers and leaned his head on the young detective’s shoulder. 

Shuichi just smiled back and continued reading his book aloud. Quietly, of course. He wouldn’t want to bring too much attention to them, after all. 

About a half hour later of Shuichi’s voice, a bit weak from talking so long, and Kokichi’s occasional advances of brushing his hands through Shuichi’s hair, Shuichi finished the book, and Shuichi’s research lab slipped into a warm silence. 

“My beloved detective?” Shuichi looked up and tilted his head. 

“Hm?” He hummed. 

“I love you.” Then came such a genuine smile from Kokichi that it took Shuichi’s breath away. 

“Y-You d-do…?” He stuttered. 

Kokichi giggled and leaned into Shuichi. “I love you, Shuichi.” 

Shuichi went silent in disbelief. 

“Don’t overthink it, stupid head.” Kokichi whispered against Shuichi’s lips. “I love you.” He repeated. 

“...prove it.” Shuichi whispered, with the confidence he only had around Kokichi. Kokichi simply chuckled, and Shuichi’s cheeks went a rosy red. 

“I can do that.” 

And then Kokichi’s lips were on Shuichi’s and it was so warm and Shuichi was shivering and everything felt so perfect especially when Kokichi looped his fingers around each other and hid them in Shuichi’s hair and it was all so wonderful and Shuichi never wanted this moment to end. 

Kokichi pulled away for just a beat, only for air.  _ “I love you, Shuichi. I love you with all of my heart. _ ” 

And then Kokichi was kissing him again. 

_ I love you too, Kokichi. I love you too. I love you. _ The words repeated in Shuichi’s mind.  _ Please never leave me again. I want to be here with you forever.  _

Shuichi pulled away this time. “I love you, Kokichi. I love you so much. I love you so much I can barely breathe when you’re gone.”

Kokichi looked up at him with those gorgeous violet eyes and then his arms were around Shuichi’s neck again, and his lips were pressed to Shuichi’s.

_ “I love you.” _ Kokichi breathed when they pulled away again. 

Shuichi looked around as he caught his breath and found that they didn’t… they didn’t have any surroundings. It was all white, as if they were in some sort of...void?

_ Wh-what… what is this? _

He looked down. There wasn’t any solid floor beneath him, rather a bright, eye-straining white. It was like he was...floating…

_ Oh… I’m… I’m dreaming. _

“What is it, my dearest?” Kokichi smirked, stepping closer to Shuichi. 

“You’re...not… You’re not real.” Shuichi’s voice cracked. “This is - j-just a dream. You don’t - don’t like me this way.” His eyes burned at the thought. 

“How do you know, darling detective? Perhaps this isn’t a dream, Chi.”

“I know that it is. You - You d-don’t… You’re a lie, Kokichi. You d-don’t - you don’t love me…” His voice cracked.

“Mmmm… I love you here.” 

“The real you doesn’t.” 

“How about you just enjoy this, my dearest detective?”

“I-It’s fake.” 

“Then pretend with me…”

“I d-don’t want it to just be pretend!” 

“It’s better than nothing.” 

“N-No, b-because then I’ll...know what it’s l-like…” 

“You already  _ do _ , remember? You kissed me earlier…”

“I th-thought you were real… I don’t want a - a fake version of Kokichi. I-If the real one doesn’t… doesn’t think of me that way, then I d-don’t want to… I want to move on.”

“You  _ know _ that it’s not going to happen, my dearest. How long has it been…? Three years? Three years of useless pining, three years of a heart panicking every time he so much as touches you, three years of telling yourself you’d confess and failing? You know you won’t,  _ Shumai… _ ”

“I-I-I - m-maybe I...Maybe I won’t…” He whispered. 

“Then pretend with me… Let’s have a lot of fun together,  _ baby… _ ”

Shuichi stumbled back, stuttering all the while. 

“ _ What _ , don’t you like it? That’s a lie. I  _ know _ you liked it. I’m inside your head, after all!”

“I can’t… This is wrong. He - he… Kokichi likes Kiibo. Kokichi has a  _ boyfriend _ .”

“Maybe the  _ real _ Kokichi has a boyfriend… But  _ I  _ don’t… I’m simply a product of your fantasies,  _ sweetheart. _ ”

A pang went through Shuichi’s heart. 

“Y-You’re a copy of him… I can’t - I can’t do that to even a-a fake version of him.” 

“You know you want to. I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t,  _ my love. _ ”

“I-I - “ 

“Or… I could wake you. Boooooring… Don’t you want to have some fun, cutie? I could be anything you  _ want… _ I could be your childhood friend, the one you know… Or I could be…” He slipped closer to Shuichi with a devious smile. “Your boyfriend…” Kokichi tilted his head innocently and took Shuichi’s right hand. “Or, if you’re feeling extra…  _ special _ , I could be your husband,  _ hubby _ .” He whispered. A golden band appeared out of thin air, and suddenly, it had managed to slide onto Shucihi’s ring finger.

“I guess that answers my question, hm?” Kokichi’s eyes lit up. “Well, sweetest, won’t you give your  _ lonely _ husband a kiss? I know you want to…” 

“A-Are you sure that you… want...to…?” 

Dream Kokichi simply giggled. “Of course, my  _ only _ love.”

“But you’re not - “

“Kiss me, you idiot.” 

…

…

Shuichi leaned in and kissed him. 

It was intoxicating. If he closed his eyes, or focused on Kokichi’s face, he could float in this heaven forever.

“I love you, Shuichi Saihara.” Kokichi whispered against his lips when he pulled away for oxygen.

“Sh-shit, Kokichi… I love you too. I love you.” 

“I love  _ you _ , Shuichi. Just you. ‘Kay?” 

_ Looking here at Kokichi, Shuichi allowed himself to believe it, if just for a moment _ .

Kokichi initiated the kiss this time. 

A few moments later, they pulled away again. 

“It’s time to wake up, love.” Kokichi said, a twinge of sadness in his voice. 

“Wh-what? No, n-no, I don’t… I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go back, K-Kokichi!” He felt tears prick at his eyes. 

He knew that once he woke up, he’d have to cope with his actual Kokichi being in a relationship with someone else. He knew he’d watch Kokichi lean on Kiibo, hug Kiibo, giggle at Kiibo,  _ possibly kiss Kiibo -  _

“I don’t want to wake up! I-I want to - I w-want to keep d-dreaming…! Please, I don’t want to go back!”

“You need to wake up, Shuichi.” Kokichi tugged the ring off of Shuichi’s finger. 

“P-Please, Ki… I don’t want to - to see you with someone else.” He pleaded, reaching out for Kokichi’s hand. “Please…”

Kokichi simply frowned. 

“Goodbye, Shuichi.”

The world went dark.


	2. i want to stay in this heaven forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams...  
> More dreams.   
> They hurt.  
> Dreams are cruel.

“...i…”

“Chi…!”

“SHUICHI!”

Shuichi shot up and hit his head on the bunk above him. “Ow! Kokichi! What the fuck, dude!” 

“It’s almost time for breakfast, dummy! You slept through your alarm. Ugh, what would you do without little old me? Where would you be?”

_ Probably dead,  _ he didn’t say. The words that came out of his lips were, “Probably living peacefully without a bruise on my forehead.” He said playfully, though it came out weaker than he wanted. 

“How rude! You’d probably be in a box, nishishi!” Kokichi threw a blue sweater and jeans at Shuichi. “Go to the bathroom and get dressed, sleepyhead. Not that I wouldn’t kill to see your sweet abs again.” He winked. 

“Shut  _ up _ , Kokichi. You have a  _ boyfriend, _ remember?” Shuichi clenched his teeth and stalked into the bathroom with the clothes, slamming the door behind him.

He took a deep breath as he changed.  _ Right… I have t-to be… supportive. I just need to act normal. Act like I always do. _

Shuichi needed coffee. Desperately.

Er… maybe not. He didn’t… want to go to the dining hall. Especially with Kokichi.

Shuichi splashed his face with water. “I’m not going to breakfast today…” Shuichi called from the bathroom. 

He walked out of the bathroom and immediately almost gained his second head bruise this morning when Kokichi came out of nowhere.

“Shuichi fucking Saihara. You’re eating. Don’t you tell me you’re going through one of your depressive episodes alone again.” 

Shuichi immediately felt bad. He knew how much he hurt Kokichi the one time that he… he… almost did something horrible. 

Kokichi probably thought he was going through…  _ that _ , again.

_ Shit. _

“I can’t go through that again, you understand me? I-I don’t like bringing it up, because I know you still feel bad about it, but I can’t - I can’t do that again.”

“Oh, no, Kokichi, it’s not like that! R-Really, I promise, okay? You can trust me. I would tell you if I was struggling with that.”

Kokchi stared at him. “Promise?”

“P-Promise.” 

_ NOT THE TIME FOR PINING, SHUICHI. _

“It’s settled! You’re coming to breakfast!” Kokichi snagged Shuichi’s arm and dragged him. 

“Kokichi,  _ please, _ I’m really not hungry…” He pleaded. 

Kokichi stared at him blankly. “Please?”

_ C’mon, he really had to play dirty with that look… _

“...fine.”

Kokichi grinned and skipped to the dining hall. 

Shuichi sighed. He’d say he had to go to the bathroom and just… not come back. 

As they walked into Kokichi dropped his arm and trotted over to Kiibo. “Kii-dear! Nishishi, I missed you!” He wrapped his arms around the robot.

_ I can’t do this. _

_ He never g-greeted me like th-that, he doesn’t...doesn’t hug me like that… _

**_Kokichi pressed a kiss to Kiibo’s cheek._ **

**_Shuichi couldn’t do this._ **

“I-I-I’m going to the bathroom.” He gritted out.

“Shuichi?” Shuichi could barely hear it over the roaring in his ears and the frantic beating of his heart.

He walked out and ignored Kokichi’s voice.

Shuichi locked himself in a bathroom stall and let a choked sound fall from his lips. 

It was real. It was true.

Kokichi didn’t love him. Kokichi would never love Shuichi as much as Shuichi loved Kokichi. 

_ It hurt, it hurt so much. _

Of course Shuichi knew. He’d known a while. But sometimes… sometimes he allowed himself to hope…

_ “Goodnight, Ki. Sleep well.”  _

_ “You too, my darling detective!” _

It only led to Shuichi hurting more, but…

_ “Nhh… Why are you here, Shu? ‘M sick…” _

_ “I’m here to help you get better.” _

_ “...fine… But only ‘cause I love you!” _

He’d fallen head over heels a long time ago. All logic went out the window every time Kokichi so much as looked at him the right way. You can’t fool the heart. 

Shuichi had tried. 

_ “I don’t love him I don’t love him I don’t love him I don’t love him I don’t love him he’s just a friend - “ _

_ Shuichi’s brain supplied an image of Kokichi giving him one of those big smiles.  _

_ “Fuck, Shuichi. You had one job.”  _

_ “Don’t fall in love with your best friend.” _

_ “What did you do?” _

_ “You did exactly that.” _

Shuichi leaned his face on the side of the stall. 

_ Why… what did I d-do wrong…? I - I just want him to love me...I just want him to love me… But he doesn’t. I’m just… I’m just a pining idiot. I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have… _

He let out another broken sound.

_ I just want Kokichi to love me… I just - I just… I want to… I just want him… And I can’t have him… _

Shuichi tried to compose himself. It was fine. He’d manage. He had to be there for Kokichi.

Like always. 

Kokichi was always right there for Shuichi, too. 

He was even there that one time Shuichi got a girlfriend and spent much less time with him. Kokichi said he didn’t mind, told him he was proud of him. There wasn’t a single bit of jealousy he spotted. He should have known then.

The girl had broken up with him, saying  _ “I’m sorry, you just… I don’t think this is going to work. You’re obviously still hung up for someone, and I think we’re meant for different people. _ ”

He’d cried, of course. And Kokichi was right by his side. Just like a best friend should be. 

Shuichi needed to accept it. He needed to accept that Kokichi… that Kokichi didn’t love him in any other way than platonically. He needed to move on, even if it felt impossible. 

He could fall in love with someone else, right?

Who was he kidding, it was nowhere near that easy and he knew it. 

_ I’ll move on. I have to. _

Shuichi cleared his throat and started taking deep breaths.  _ I have to do this. You just have to be a good friend, Shuichi. It can’t be too hard, right? Just ignore it. _

He stood up with a purpose and pushed the stall open quietly.  _ Just be a good friend. _

The detective stepped out of the bathroom (after washing his hands, of course), and made his way back to the cafeteria.

“Shuichi!” His head snapped up, and his eyes immediately fell in shame upon seeing the worry etched into Kokichi’s face. “What the fuck even was that?”

Shuichi let out a sigh. “S-Sorry, my stomach started hurting…” 

Kokichi narrowed his eyes. “You better not be lying to me, got it? Is it the Kiibo thing?” He crossed his arms. “Cause - “

“No! No, no, it’s not that. I’m happy for you!” Shuichi’s mouth twisted into a bright smile. “Really, I’m glad that you’re finally with someone.” He managed to sound normal. 

Kokichi inspected Shuichi’s face for a moment more before he was satisfied, and relented. “Don’t do that again. You worried me.” Kokichi mumbled quietly. He speedwalked back into the cafeteria. 

Shuichi let his smile fall and followed behind slowly. 

He walked into the room and took a seat next to Iruma, who was showing her obvious jealousy of Kokichi via angered glances and longful looks at Kiibo. He sighed. That made two of them.

Kiibo and Kokichi were talking to each other. Kokichi was leaning on Kiibo’s shoulder.

Shuichi swallowed. He could do this. 

_ He could do this. _

He ate his food in silence, listening to Kiibo, Kokichi, and Miu’s conversation. Miu was being extremely passive aggressive, aiming multiple jabs at Kokichi in the conversation. 

“Psh! How’d you even end up with someone like Kiibo? No one would ever love a virgin like you, y’know!”

_ Final straw. _

“Miu, shut the  _ fuck _ up.” Shuichi hissed upon hearing Kokichi go quiet. 

He knew how afraid Kokichi was of himself. He’d figured that out during the rare moments he’d convinced Kokichi to  _ finally, finally  _ open up to him.

“Wh-what?” 

Miu, Kokichi, and Kiibo stared at him. 

He didn’t care. He didn’t care a bit.

“I said, shut up.” Shuichi stood his ground. 

“I-It was just a joke, you fuckin’ virgin!”

“It wasn’t a funny one.” Shuichi spat. He clenched his fists beneath the table.

To his surprise, Kiibo agreed. “I agree, Iruma-san. That is not something to joke about. You have been harassing Kokichi this entire meal.”

_ I probably should’ve expected Kiibo defending his - his...boyfriend. Wait, no, I’m probably making a face, I have to fix that. _

Shuichi smoothed out his face.

“Nishishi! I’m going back to my dorm now. You guys are so  _ boring _ .” Shuichi immediately caught the lie.

Kokichi stood up and sprinted away.

Shuichi waited for Kiibo to follow him, but for some reason, Kiibo just looked at him expectantly.

“Y-You’re not going to go get your boyfriend?” Shuichi asked. 

Kiibo’s cheeks went red. “You’ve known him longer than I have. He may listen to you more.” He stated. 

“B-But - “

“Please?” Kiibo tilted his head. 

Shuichi sighed.

He stood up and ran off to their dorm. 

“Kokichi…? Are you in here?” Shuichi knocked on the door. He didn’t get a response. “Kokichi,” He called again. Nothing. “Kokichi, you’re kinda scaring me here…” He mumbled. Still nothing. 

“Kokichi!” Shuichi knocked harder on the door before giving up and grabbing his key. Screw privacy.

He found nothing but a closed bathroom door. He sighed and knocked on that door too. 

“Ki, I know you’re in there.” 

“...go away, Chi.”

“No.” Shuichi frowned. “Do you know why I’m not going away?” 

“Couldn’t care less.”

“It’s because I care about you, Kokichi. You’re my best friend. You’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember.”

“But that’s all we are, right? You’ll be my best, most oblivious friend for as long as I live, like a lost fucking puppy until we die.”

“Wh-what?” 

“Just get out, Saihara!”

Shuichi winced. Kokichi hadn’t called him by his last name in… actually, Kokichi only did that when he was upset with him for whatever reason. 

“Ki, open the door.” Shuichi said firmly. 

“Or what? You’ll get  _ mad _ at me? You’ll run off and cry? You’ll go off to your precious Momota-chan and get him to break down the door and beat me up?” Kokichi laughed maniacally. “You’re powerless, Saihara, and you know it.” 

Shuichi clenched his fists.

“Kokichi, open the fucking door.”

“ _ Or what, detective? _ ”

“Or I’ll force my way in there.”

“Tch, you don’t have the guts.”

` Shuichi pursed his lips and walked to Kokichi’s dresser, where he picked up one of Kokichi’s many lockpick stick things. 

He walked up to the door and picked it. 

“Th-this is your last choice to open the door before I walk in.” Shuichi stated.

Radio silence.

Shuichi opened the door.

Kokichi was seemingly hiding in the shower, since he wasn’t near here. Shuichi stepped forwards and pulled back the shower.

“I told you to go away.” Kokichi’s back faced Shuichi. 

“And I told you that I wouldn’t.”

“...”

“What did you mean, about me being oblivious?”

“...”

“Ki.”

“...nothing. I’m going to sleep. I’m tired.”

“Kokichi, don’t you dare shut down on me. You hear me? Don’t you  _ dare give me those blank eyes and pretend it’s fine. _ ” Shuichi’s voice trembled. 

Kokichi stood up and didn’t so much as meet Shuichi’s eyes. He walked out of the bathroom and went to climb the ladder to his bunk before Shuichi caught his wrist.

“Kokichi, look at me. Look me in the eyes and tell me seriously that you’re okay.” 

“Tch, pathetic, isn’t it? The one who was oh so scared to look at someone’s eyes wants to see  _ my _ eyes. Let go of my arm.” 

“Not until you can look at me and tell me the truth.” 

“Maybe I don’t want to!” Kokichi tore away his arm, but Shuichi just grabbed it again. 

“Ki, you can tell me anything. You know that, right? You’re - you’re like a brother to me.” _ I wish you were more _ . The words didn’t escape Shuichi’s lips. 

Kokichi tensed. 

“Please.”

He let out a small sigh. 

Kokichi turned around and looked Shuichi in the eyes. 

“I demand a hug. This right here is a threat, and I’ll send you to Siberia if you don’t.” Kokichi muttered. 

It was Shuichi’s turn to sigh.

Shuichi wrapped his arms around Kokichi, and Kokichi rested his head on his chest. 

“...’m sorry.”

“I know you are.” 

***

“Shuichi, dearest…”

Shuichi looked up at his husband. “Ah, Ki, darling. What is it?” Kokichi wrapped his arms around Shuichi and hopped into his lap, though Shuichi didn’t mind in the least. He loved his husband. Kokichi could stomp on his reproductive organs and he’d get away with it, though that was more because Shuichi was a pushover for him.

“I love you!” Kokichi giggled, pressing his lips to Shuichi’s cheek. Shuichi, despite  _ knowing _ he should’ve been used to it, still went red and sputtery. 

“I-I - I ah - I love you too, Ki.” Shuichi smiled weakly, his brain spinning.

“Promiseee?” Kokichi dragged out the word. 

Shuichi gently took Kokichi’s face and kissed Kokichi for a moment before pulling away starry-eyed. He mumbled, “Promise.” 

Kokichi gave him another closed-eye smile and curled in Shuichi’s lap. Shuichi sighed peacefully and stroked Kokichi’s hair. 

“I love you, Kokichi. So much. And I always will.” Shuichi whispered. “I never want to leave you.” He fiddled with the golden band on his ring finger. 

“I love you too, Shuichi. More than anything. I will  _ always _ love you.” Shuichi wanted to cry. He snuggled further into Shuichi on the couch and Shuichi inspected the glittery Christmas tree. How many Christmases were to come? He didn’t know, and frankly, he didn’t care, as long as it lasted forever.

The fire crackled warmly and Shuichi could spend forever in this moment. 

“...Chi?”

“Yes, love?”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Anything.”

“...it’s a lie.” 

“Hm?”

“You’re dreaming. And it’s time for you to wake up.”

“Wh-what…?”

“None of this is real.” 

“...oh..”

It clicked in Shuichi’s mind. Kokichi wasn’t his husband, quite the opposite, actually. He was his taken best friend, the one he’d been hopelessly pining over for years. 

He didn’t want to wake up, not again. He’d woken up before. 

“I want to keep dreaming.” His voice cracked. 

“Mmm, but you can’t.” Kokichi -  _ fake, unreal, non-loving Kokichi - _ stared up at him sadly. “He’s trying to wake you. He’s worried that you aren’t waking up.” 

“I don’t  _ want _ to wake up!”

“It’d be selfish not to wake up.” 

“ _ Then I’ll be selfish!” _

Dream Kokichi stared at him curiously, obviously surprised at his outburst. “I-I’m not ready to wake up.”

Dream Kokichi sighed. “I’m simply a product of your imagination, you know. I don’t have any power over this.”

“Well don’t make me wake up. You obviously have  _ some _ power as to how I fall out of dreams, right? Let me stay here - just - just for a little longer.”

“Fine. You’re the one dealing with the consequences.” 

Dream Kokichi’s face drifted into a dreamy smile. “I love you.”

“I-I… love you too.” Shuichi stared at the golden band again and frowned, knowing that it was fake. 

“Would you like to reminisce on our wedding pictures?” Kokichi smiled up at him and Shuichi just nodded. He’d slip into this fantasy again, no problem. 

_ Anything but seeing him with someone else again.  _

Kokichi hopped off of his lap and returned a couple moments later with a book of pictures. He opened it. 

“This was right beforehand.” Kokichi pointed at a picture of Shuichi and Kokichi in matching suits, Kokichi’s being white and Shuichi’s being black. 

_ Yin and yang, _ read the caption. 

Kokichi flipped the page to an image of Kokichi  _ and Kiibo hanging on each other at what seemed like a bachelor party - _

“C-Can we - skip the bachelor party ones?” 

“Of course, baby.”

Kokichi flitted through a couple pages and stopped on one of Shuichi slipping a ring onto Kokichi’s finger, and his heart fluttered. Kokichi’s face was tinted a light pink, and there was a smile on his face that was brighter than anything Shuichi had ever even seen. 

Shuichi’s expression was similar, and he couldn’t lie, he noticed that his eyes were glossy with unshed tears. 

_ Emo cries pt. 1,  _ read the caption, and Shuichi chuckled quietly. 

Kokichi flipped the page to another image, this one of Shuichi cupping Kokichi’s face in a soft kiss. 

_ Gremlin stands on tiptoes as emo kisses the groom. _

Kokichi giggled at that one and flipped it. 

This one was of Kokichi stuffing a forkful of cake into Shuichi’s mouth. Shuichi was obviously surprised in the picture as his eyes were wide and his cheeks were red, but there was still pure adoration in his eyes. 

_ Emo chokes on cake _ .

The page turned to Kokichi - definitely struggling - carrying Shuichi in his arms bridal style. They were both laughing in the image. 

_ Gremlin’s spine shatters as he attempts to carry emo. _

They both smiled at that. 

Another turn of a page.

This one was of Shuichi carrying Kokichi on his shoulders in a group photo with what seemed to be their entire class. 

_ Chaos in an image, colorized, 20xx. _

The page flipped again, except there was nothing on this page. He stared at the page for a moment before turning to Kokichi questioningly. 

“Your dreams are - they’re breaking. Your Kokichi trying to wake you up and it’s working, slightly. I haven’t let you wake up.” Dream Kokichi explained. 

“...I want to stay here forever. I-In dream land.” 

“That’s a coma, Shuichi.”

“I don’t care what it is. I don’t ever want to wake up.” 

“You can’t stay here forever. You’ll be kicked out eventually.” 

“I’ll stay as long as I can, then.”

“Your Kokichi is currently panicking. You know that, right? Do you really want to worry him that much?”

“He’ll get over himself.” Shuichi said selfishly.

Dream Kokichi scowled, and the TV in the center in the room clicked on.

“Sh-Shuichi! W-Wake up, you idiot!” Suddenly, Kokichi’s hand grew closer to the TV and Shuichi felt a sharp pain on his cheek. “Wake  _ up! Wake up, Shuichi!” _ He noticed the tears building in Kokichi’s eyes, but…

Shuichi would rather stay here than hurt himself every moment he watched Kokichi speak with Kiibo. He didn’t care about selfishness anymore. 

“You’re hurting him.” Dream Kokichi said with a sneer.

“Shuichi! Please, c-come on, y-you t-told me you were okay, Shuichi.” Shuichi felt something like arms wrapping around himself. 

“Y-You - you promised me, Shuichi. You promised me. Y-You’re not supposed to lie to me.” Kokichi’s voice cracked.

“He thinks you did something to yourself.” Dream-kichi spat.

“He’ll get over it.” Shuichi spat back.

“I can’t keep you here any longer, Shuichi. I’m making you wake up.” 

“No! I won’t let you!” Shuichi held the book to his chest. “I don’t want to wake up.”

“You have to. Goodbye, Shuichi.”

And everything went dark and bright at the same time. 

“ _ Shuichi!” _ Kokichi dragged him up and wrapped his arms around his neck. “Oh my god, you  _ scared me _ , you know that!? Don’t  _ do _ that to me!”

Shuichi immediately felt horrible. “I - “

“Just hug me back, you big dummy.”

Shuichi gingerly wrapped his arms around Kokichi, patting him on the back. His heart was exploding in his chest. His face was no doubt the color of a cherry. 

“I-I thought… you were going to die.” Kokichi muttered into his shoulder. “And I was - I was afraid. Don’t do that stupidity to me, got it?” 

“I-I’m sorry, okay? I - I was having a - I was having a good dream and I didn’t want to wake up. That’s - that’s all.”

“ _ You made me think you were dead for a good  _ dream _?! _ ”

“I - “

“Tell me, Shuichi. What was this  _ good _ dream?” Grumbled Kokichi. 

“I-I’d rather not say…” 

“You owe me.” 

He sighed. “Fine. I - It was - I got married with the person I like.” Shuichi’s cheeks flooded with heat all over again. 

“Oh.” Kokichi deadpanned. 

“Wait, what?” 

“What?” Kokichi didn’t drop the blank face. 

“What’s that expression?”

“Nothing.” 

“Ki…”

“What?”

“Please tell me, Kokichi.” 

“...I broke up with Kiibo.”

“ _ YOU DID?! _ ”

It came out much more excited than it should have been. And louder, for that matter.

“The whole thing was a ploy to get Miu jealous.” He stated. “And it worked. Those two are together now.” He smiled. 

“R-Really?? Y-You d-didn’t a-actually love him!?”

Shuichi’s heart was going to pound out of his chest, he swore. 

“Alright, down, boy. You’re like a puppy.” Kokichi laughed. “I love Kiibo like a friend and nothing else.”

“Oh my god, okay, good.” Shuichi got out breathlessly. 

“...good?” 

_ I - I’m going to stop being a coward. _

“I - I have to tell you something, Kokichi. Something - really important.”

Shuichi took a deep breath and began his word vomit.

“I-I’ve lied to you, Ki. F-For a while. I-I - I’m - I c-care a-about you, o-bviously, but n-not - not like a brother. I - I like you more than that, Kokichi. I - I love you. Okay?! I r-really love you. A-And every time you t-touch m-me, o-or c-call me s-something d-dumb like ‘b-beloved’, m-my brain short-circuits, a-and my heart flutters, a-a-nd I get butterflies wh-whenever y-you sm-smile a-at me, a-and - and when y-you g-got with K-Kiibo i-it h-hurt b-because I kn-knew I f-failed - a-and I c-couldn’t s-stand l-looking at y-you with someone e-else, a-and I-I’m - I’m r-really s-sorry about h-how sudden th-this w-was, b-but I just - I just needed to get it off my chest.” He gasped for air at the end of it.

“...it’s...not a lie. Right?” Shuichi couldn’t read Kokichi’s expression. 

“N-No.” Shuichi stammered. 

“...Shusai?”

“Y-Y-Yes?” 

“...can I kiss you?” 

“Wh-what!?” Shuichi choked. 

“You heard me.” 

When Shuichi was able to breathe again, he got out,

“Y-Yeah… I’d - I’d like that.” 

And then Kokichi was kissing him and it was better than the dreams. 

When he was forced to pull away, Kokichi smiled at him. 

“The thing with Kiibo was meant to make you jealous. I came up with a whole plan and didn’t think it was working.” 

“God, I was so jealous.” Shuichi leaned in this time.

When they pulled away again, “Mmm, I can tell now.” Kokichi giggled. 

“I love you.” Shuichi whispered. “More than anything.” 

Kokichi initiated. 

They were forced apart again. “Be my boyfriend?” Kokichi asked hopefully. 

Shuichi, this time. 

“Does that answer your question?” 

They both leaned in at once this time. 

“I think.” 

Shuichi chuckled at the absurdity of it all. 

“I want to stay in this heaven forever.” 

“Then stay, darling.”

“I plan on it.”


End file.
